Site News for December 9, 2011

My apologies for not updating this week. I'm in the middle of finals and am devoting all of my time to finishing quality work. Updates for The Acceptivity Project will resume later next week. Thank you.

Video: Michelle Bachman on Gay Marriage

Here is a video to accompany the previous post. I've experienced enough secondhand embarassment today and therefore have not watched it.

Michele Bachmann: Gay People Can Get Married -- But Only To Members Of The Opposite Sex

Be warned, this is rather frustrating to read. Mrs. Bachman's logic is twisted, to say the least.

GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann saysgay people do have the right to get married -- so long as they're planning on tying the knot with a member of the opposite sex.

The Minnesota congresswoman was campaigning in Iowa Wednesday addressing a group of high school students when Jane Schmidt, president of Waverly High School's Gay-Straight Alliance, confronted her on same-sex marriage rights.

Bachmann had just finished explaining that the purpose of government was to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans are protected.

"We all have the same civil rights," Bachmann said, according to the Des Moines Register, providing an opportunity for Schmidt to press her.

"Then, why can't same-sex couples get married?" Schmidt asked.

"They can get married," Bachmann responded. "But they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they're a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man."

Bachmann later went on to clarify her belief that "there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There's no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life."

While Bachmann's comments are unlikely to prove helpful to gay marriage advocates, they are consistent with her record on the broader issue of gay rights.

Bachmann has referred to homosexuality as a condition or disorder and claimed that it encourages child abuse and "enslavement." She was also a vocal opponent of repealing "don't ask, don't tell," and said earlier this year that she would reinstate the military policy if elected.

Bachmann's husband, Marcus, created a stir earlier this year when an undercover sting videocaptured his Christian counseling clinic pushing the controversial practice of "praying the gay away." Conversion therapy of all types has been widely debunked by scientific studies.

Team Bachmann also drew fire last month when a clip surfaced showing her Iowa campaign co-chair, Tamara Scott, arguing that the legalization of gay marriage would inevitably lead to people marrying turtles and inanimate objects such as the Eiffel Tower.

Here's the full transcript of the exchange between Bachmann and the high school students, via theRegister:

JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.

BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that's really what government's role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn't be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people's preferences. We all have the same civil rights.

JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can't same-sex couples get married?

BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man.

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can't a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that's not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

JANE SCHMIDT: So you won't support the LGBT community?

BACHMANN: No, I said that there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There's no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You're an American citizen first and foremost and that's it.

ELLA NEWELL, a junior at Waverly High School: Wouldn't heterosexual couples, if they were given a privilege then, that gay couples aren't, like given that privilege to get married, but heterosexual couples are given a privilege to get married?

BACHMANN: Remember every American citizen has the right to avail themselves to marriage but they have to follow what the laws are. And the laws are you marry a person of the opposite sex.

Source: The Huffington Post 

Alternative Responses to Bullying

I came across this long article on Boston.com about a community that is going about anti-bullying programs in a unique way. Long story short, they are attempting to rehabilitate bullies by using YouTube videos and other unconventional media sources, as a form of counseling. It's a very interesting read and one in line with what The Acceptivity Project is all about. While the main goal of starting this project was to raise awareness for young people being bullied and the acceptance of marginalized individuals, it became clear to me that the bullies are often victims themselves and are worthy of being treated. It will be interesting to see what the success of this program is and if it can and should be adopted to other communities throughout the country.

Read the article here: http://articles.boston.com/2011-10-13/news/30276055_1_phoebe-prince-antibullying-law-video-plea

"Parents give kids the tools to battle bullies"

Where do you stand on using martial arts as a defense against bullies? Is it a case of violence begetting more violence? Having never taken a martial arts class myself I can't know of the principles it teaches, if it gives children a sense of self-respect that they can utilize when being bullied. My stand is that violence should never be fought with violence. But there is certainly food for thought in self-defense being self-respect.

While school districts across the state have developed plans to combat bullying, parents are taking their own measures to ensure their children are safe both in and out of school.

Since Pheobe Prince of South Hadley committed suicide after being bullied by classmates, bullying has been a hot topic among school officials and parents. Many parents have spoken to their children about bullying and some have even enrolled them in martial arts classes.

Jodi Michaud enrolled her 10-year-old son, Jack, in classes at Rising Sun Marital Arts on Main Street to offer him protection and give him the confidence to stand up to bullies.

Michaud, who also takes classes, said the focus is on self-defense to avoid violence, rather than engaging a bully.

"That's a big philosophy to get out of a situation," Michaud said. "It's been very positive for us."

Bryan Foley and his son signed up for martial arts classes at MetroWest Tang Soo Do on Broad Street to help his son who was bullied in school. He says his son's training helped him confront his bully without violence.

"He learned some pretty good skills," Foley said. "He felt strong enough to stand up for himself. It's invaluable."

An instructor at MetroWest Tang Soo Do, Rich Nugent said students learn self-defense techniques needed if a confrontation becomes physical, but students are encouraged to avoid violence.

With the prevalence of social networking websites and cyberbullying, many parents are monitoring their children's activity on websites for signs of bullying.

"I do know parents are talking to their kids and, most importantly, listening to their children," said Sue Goyette, president of the Farley Elementary School Home and School Association. "We do talk about bullying and we are very diligent on what they can and cannot access on the Internet."

Youth sports organizations also focus on the importance of discipline and providing a team-oriented atmosphere for athletes to prevent bullying.

"I think we do a great job at building discipline and a team, goal-oriented environment, which are key to preventing bullying," said Michael Chaves, president of Hudson Youth Baseball.

Hudson Youth Football President Bob Fecteau said coaches are required to sign a code of conduct, which states coaches won't tolerate bullying, and are constantly on the lookout for bullying activity.

With anti-bullying plans at schools and parents working to prevent bullying outside of school, Hudson Police Officer Chad Crogan said the skills the students have learned made them confident in dealing with bullies.

"The kids are standing up for themselves," Crogan said. "The kids are more aware of it and what to do."

(Jeff Malachowski can be reached at 508-490-7466 or jmalachowski@wickedlocal.com.)

Read more: http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/education/x1178213614/Parents-give-kids-the-tools-to-battle-bullies#ixzz1fDGjZJoF

Source: http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/education/x1178213614/Parents-give-kids-the-tools-to-battle-bullies

"Technology Increases School Bullying"

Yet another article involving the Michigan legislation on anti-bullying. This article includes talk of cyber-bullying, which can be just as harmful as bullying.

Michigan is one of just three states without an anti-bullying law to protect students in K-12 schools. The state Legislature is expected to approve a proposal this week that would require all schools to adopt anti-bullying policies.

Students say it's time to have a law in place, as bullying in schools is a growing concern.     

Samantha Torres, an 8th grader at Slauson Middle School in Ann Arbor, recently wrote a letter to Governor Rick Snyder urging him to consider the concerns of students as he looks at anti-bullying proposals. In the letter, Torres says teachers and adults do not know the extent of bullying in schools.

"People are pushed around in hallways a lot, people get into fights that are pretty brutal in the end," she says. "People just use their words too, to hurt other people. And most of that is when the teacher isn't watching or there is no teacher."

Torres says she and her friends have been bullied before. She says she is a very religious person and a classmate once told her via text that her religion was "stupid." Torres thinks harassment through text and the internet are quickly becoming the most hurtful and pervasive types of bullying at her school.

Technology Enhances Bullying
Glenn Stutzky, a social work professor at Michigan State University, says that's probably true. He says five years ago a target of a bully would be harassed about three times a day. Now, he says, a kid could be bullied between 10 and 20 times a day.

"Technology has allowed bullying to go mobile, and it's this type of bullying is not bound by geography," he says. "You don't have to be in the same place, and it's not bound by time. It's like being electronically bound to          your tormenters. You can't get, you know, away."

Stutzky says the things that happen in a home that a child witnesses during the earliest years of their life are still the biggest factors that contribute to bullying behavior. He says bullies choose their targets by honing in on gentle children because the bullies perceive those kids as weak.

Breaking A Cycle
Larry Schiamberg teaches human development and family studies at MSU: "I don't think anyone bullies another person without getting some, sadly, some level of satisfaction and gaining some level of apparent control over the other person," he says.

Schiamberg says victims and bullies have the similar emotional make-up and that bullies can easily become victims. Victims can easily become bullies. Schiamberg says it's important to encourage kids to report bullying if it happens to them or they see it happen to others in order to help break the cycle.

"When we define bullying as bullying, we are talking about continuity of behavior. This is not simply one nasty comment. This is not simply one maybe abrupt push. This is not simply one behavior. This is behaviors repeated over time," he says.

"And I think a lot of times people have just looked at this as just a rite of passage. It's normal, everybody went through it," says Kevin Epling, a father whose teenage son Matt killed himself ten years ago after being bullied. "Today it's much different, the technology has changed it quite a bit."

What's Proposed
Epling has been an advocate for an anti-bullying law in Michigan. Though he supports the anti-bullying proposal before the state Legislature, he says it still needs some work. He would like the proposal to include stronger rules about cyber-bullying. Epling also says he'd like the law to explicitly state some of the common characteristics of bullying victims. Advocates for gay and lesbian students say that would offer kids better protection.

Professor Glenn Stutzky says he is excited the bullying issue is being talked about. He says public dialogue about bullying can advance anti-bullying legislation.

"Now I'm really encouraged because I feel like we're reaching a tipping point where we can make some significant progress," Stutzky says.

There is already an anti-bullying policy in Samantha Torres' school district in Ann Arbor. The policy lists characteristics that are protected from bullying, such as sexual orientation and gender. Even so, Samantha says many of the mean comments made between students still go unnoticed by most people.

"The 'sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you,' but words can actually really hurt you," she says.

Source: http://ipr.interlochen.org/ipr-news-features/episode/16993

Zach Wahls Speaks About Family

"Optimism for Gay Marriage in Maryland"

It's hopeful to see another state hopefully allowing same-sex marriage state-wide. As a third generation Californian, I remain hopeful that we'll see the same here some day.

A member of the Maryland House of Delegates has expressed optimism that the state legislature will pass marriage equality into law early next year. 

"Last time the Senate passed the bill but it was defeated by just a few votes in the house of delegates," Doyle L. Neimann, D-District 47 told this scribe Sunday morning at the Paint Branch Unitarian Universalist church in Hyattsville. 

Neimann said Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley is personally promoting the bill. "The leaders in the house are supporting it. We are going to pass marriage equality into law." 

But he said he is not happy to learn that the right wing has mobilized its troops to petition and put the issue for a referendum even when the general assembly passes the marriage equality law. 

On the liberal front, Marylanders for Marriage Equality coalition will launch Campaign Run Down and set up its first phone bank to contact the legislators at the Paint Branch Unitarian Universalist church in Hyattsville Tuesday. 

The coalition includes the NAACPBaltimore Chapter, SEIU, ACLU-Maryland, Progressive Maryland, Equality Maryland, Human Rights Campaign, National Black Justice Coalition, Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Family Equality Council, Catholics for Equality, Maryland Faith for Equality, PFLAG and Maryland NOW.

David A.C. Turley of the Human Rights Campaign will speak about Campaign Run Down and then give training on phone banking. 

"David Turley, the new director of Marylanders for Marriage Equality, previously worked for passage of marriage equality in New York," Nancy Boardman, chairperson of the Social Action Committee, said, sounding delighted. "We will all be singing the same song," she said about the phone training to call Maryland state parliament members. 

As many as 25 Maryland senators voted for gay marriage and 22 voted against it, but in the house it was just two votes short of the 71 votes required for passage. 

"Work needs to be done on at least 15 members who are very rigid on this issue," said Neimann. 

The coalition will provide training, scripts and contact lists for the phone banking. Those interested in helping are requested to bring their cell phones. 

The dates are Tuesday November 29, Wednesday December 7 and Tuesday December 13. The timing on all three days are 6.00 p..m. to 9 p.m.

Source:  http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/9191135/optimism_for_gay_marriage_in_maryland.html?cat=7

"Anti-bully legislation sparks controversy"

Some more information about that bill that was created in Michigan that included a "protection of free speech" that in all actuality would give bullies a legal license to bully.

IRON MOUNTAIN -- Michigan is just one of three states in the nation without an anti-bullying law, however, recent efforts to create a law has created controversy.

Some Michigan lawmakers have been the subject of national criticism following the Senate passing of anti-bullying legislation earlier this month. Opponents say it's a 'pro-bullying' bill, giving students a license to bully.

Matt Oslund is 17 years old. He's been openly gay since his freshman year at Iron Mountain High School, and he says that's been a challenge.

"I've gotten death threats in my locker, text messages, prank phone calls," said Oslund.

He says the bullying got so bad, his grades suffered. After completing his junior year at Iron Mountain, he made the decision to leave the school system and pursue his GED.

"For me, it was just so unbearable, the threats and everything," Oslund said.

Iron Mountain High School says they do have regulations and reporting procedures in place, but bullying will continue to be a problem.

"Can we prevent it? Never 100 percent," says Iron Mountain Public School Superintendent Tom Jayne, "because kids are kids, and we can't be everywhere at every time."

Superintendent Jayne was not at the school at the time of the alleged incidents and was not able to comment on Matt's story.

Matt says he's much more comfortable in his academics now, but something he saw in the news raised his concerns for other students who are bullied.

The Michigan Senate passed anti-bullying legislation with a provision stating policies against bullying could not prohibit "a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil's parent or guardian."

Sponsors say the bill was created to protect freedom of speech. Others say it's pro-bullying legislation.

"Under this bill, you could justify tormenting a child who's overweight, has divorced parents, bi-racial or wears a Yakima or even a cross, for that matter," says Democratic Michigan Senator Gretchen Witmer. "This is not the message to be sending to our students."

Witmer is part of a movement to stop the bill; so far it's been successful. The anti-bullying bill that passed in the House of Representatives did not include the exemption. The new bill, without the exemption, will now go back to the Senate.

U.P. Republican Senator Tom Casperson voted in support of the initial anti-bullying bill with the provision. He could not be reached for comment.

Source: http://www.uppermichiganssource.com/news/story.aspx?list=~%5Chome%5Clists%5Csearch&id=691387#.TtZofWMk67s

It Goes Get Better

"Marine chief: DADT repeal is working"

Gen. James F. Amos, the top officer in the U.S. Marines, says he is “pleased” at how smoothly the military branch has adapted to the repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell - and top gay rights advocates agree.

Amos, who had publicly opposed the repeal of the ban on gays serving openly in the military, spent the past week in Afghanistan holding more than a dozen town-hall meetings with Marines, reports the AP, which had an exclusive interview with the Marine commander.

Not once during the sessions was he asked about the repeal, according to the wire service.

“I’m very pleased with how it has gone,” Amos said.

The general told a story to illustrate his point — during the Marine Corps’ annual ball in Washington, D.C., earlier this month, a female Marine had approached his wife and introduced herself and her lesbian partner.

“Bonnie just looked at them and said, ‘Happy birthday ball. This is great. Nice to meet you,’” Amos said, reports the AP. “That is happening throughout the Marine Corps.”

Last December, Amos testified to Congress that he opposed the repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell, arguing that it would have disruptive effects on unit cohesion.

“I think I did exactly what I should have done,” he says now, of his decision to testify against repeal.

Fred Sainz of the Human Rights Campaign, one of the advocacy groups that long called for the end of DADT, told POLITICO the general’s comments back up what those who had been opposed to DADT said before the repeal.

“For Gen. Amos, who was perhaps one of the most hardened opponents at the time, to validate now that the implementation has gone well is obviously very heartening to see and he has truly embraced this in a way that should be an example to all Americans,” Sainz said.

“We oftentimes in the gay rights movement have made the most progress when people that are kind of an unexpected ally or advocate come out, so to speak, and affirm that it is not the big deal they thought it would be,” Sainz added. “This is one of those moments.”

And Servicemembers Legal Defense Network spokesperson Zeke Stokes said his organization — formed in 1993 to offer legal assistance to those affected by the policy — has heard no reports of harassment, discrimination or negative experiences connected with the repeal from gay and lesbian servicemembers.

“We believe his comments very accurately reflect what is happening in the field,” Stokes told POLITICO. “From our perspective, Gen. Amos’s comments reflect exactly what we are hearing from all services, including the Marines, that repeal is going smoothly.”

With the repeal implementation proceeding as planned, gay rights advocates are turning their attention to a more pressing concern: fighting for equal benefits for gay and lesbian servicemembers and their families, who do not qualify for the same benefits as their straight, married colleagues.

“I think that where the story is going to continue to evolve is in securing additional benefits for gay and lesbian servicemembers and their families,” Sainz said.

After that hurdle, Sainz added, groups will likely push to end the ban on open transgendered service.

“Over time, certainly not immediately, you are going to see a push for open service by transgendered members of the military,” he said.

Source: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/69194.html

Bullying in the Workplace

This is a bit outside of what is normally posted here on The Acceptivity Project, but bullying is still bullying even when it happens among adults. And let's face it, sometimes adults act very childish.

As if they did not already have enough to worry about, from finding jobs to keeping the ones they have, employees are confronting a new phenomenon lately: bullying in the workplace.

While there is no precise definition of what constitutes workplace bullying, it generally consists of supervisors hassling, even harassing, subordinates. Bullying comes in many forms. It may include verbal abuse, such as use of derogatory remarks, insults and epithets; inconsistent and contradictory directives; poor performance evaluations, and freezing out employees from participating in important workplace or social activities.

A 2010 survey by an organization called the Workplace Bully Institute found that more than one-third of workers in this country have experienced workplace bullying. The majority of the reported bullying was same-gender harassment, with a large, and growing, portion citing female managers bullying subordinate females and, occasionally, male underlings.

These findings come at a time when retaliation against employees, another form of bullying, is reaching record heights. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), the federal agency that oversees discrimination and harassment laws, reports that retaliation has become the leading category of complaints filed by workers.

Last year, more than 36,000 of about 100,000 complaints filed with the EEOC alleged retaliation against employees who had raised issues about perceived improprieties in the workplace. The increase in retaliation claims has been spurred by favorable court rulings making it easier for employees to pursue these allegations.

Numerous federal, state and some municipal laws protect employees against such treatment only if they fall within one of about a dozen "protected" classifications, such as gender, race, age, disability or religion.

The Minnesota Supreme Court, for instance, earlier this year ruled that sexual harassment claims do not apply to adverse treatment of one gender against the other unless there is some sexual connotation. Since most bullying is gender-neutral, it generally falls outside the scope of existing laws.

In Minnesota, most of the legislative attention has been directed to the harassment of students. An anti-bullying measure was passed by the Legislature during the waning days of the administration of Gov. Tim Pawlenty, who vetoed the measure, claiming erroneously that it was redundant with existing harassment laws.

Legislation directed against bullying in the workplace has not advanced in Minnesota. Given the current complexion of the Legislature; it is unlikely to surface soon.

But these issues have been confronted and addressed internationally. Nearly 20 years ago, Sweden became the first nation to enact explicit anti-bullying legislation. The measure, known as the Ordinance on Victimization at Work, bars bullying and levies fines and even imprisonment upon abusive employers. But the law does not allow civil lawsuits by abused employees.

Other European nations, including Great Britain and France, have similar measures, but permit civil suits. The British law, for example, recently yielded a $1 million award of damages to an abused employee.

Bad business

These laws are no panacea. They also raise the potential of a torrent of merit-less litigation that could be viewed as a "shakedown" of management. But bullying does not easily fit into these laws.

Most would agree that bullying is bad for business. The practice causes morale problems and leads to turmoil, turnover and lower productivity. Even without legislation, an employer should take steps to prevent workplace bullying. These could include:

•Adopting protocols that prohibit abusive conduct, even going beyond existing discrimination and harassment laws.

•Communicating the policies to all employees, particularly supervisors.

•Training managers on how to spot bullying, respond to complaints and avoid retaliation.

•Encouraging employees to report bullying and assure them that no retaliation will not be taken against them if they do so.

Employers and employees have a stake in preventing bullying. They need not wait for legislation to act appropriately in battling back against bullies in the workplace.

Source: http://www.startribune.com/business/134507163.html

Recently in the News

I comb through a lot of news resources every day to find articles fitting for The Acceptivity Project. Sometimes I come across a few things that perhaps don't align perfectly with the goal of TAP, but are worth posting because they're helpful in some other way.

• Teens Use 16th B-day Party to Raise Awareness for Teen Suicide
• Teen Singer Commits to Fighting Bullies
• Study Shows 40% of Suicidal Kids Make First Attempt Before H.S.

Ben Lewis' Family Speak Up About Bullying

Another article where the family of a teen who committed suicide as a result of bullying are speaking up about the way schools handle bullying. I hope they're listening.

LINCOLN, Neb. - The family of a boy who committed suicide after being teased by his peers says schools need to adopt strong anti-bullying measures.

Ben Lewis' family told the Lincoln Journal Star that the 15-year-old with Asperger's syndrome, a mild form of autism, had always been picked on for being different. But the teasing got worse after the family moved to Lincoln from Omaha in October.

The family doesn't blame Lincoln schools for Ben's death last week. But one of his uncles, Dan Green, said schools need to have strong anti-bullying policies and back them up.

"Schools preach about their commitment to strict anti-bullying policies, but what goes into the policies? What should parents do?" Green said. "There's got to be someone who parents can reach out to."

Green said schools should suggest steps parents can take to combat bullying, including referrals to outside counselors.

Lincoln High School Principal Mike Wortman said school officials weren't aware Ben was having problems.

Wortman said when officials do learn about bullying, they talk to the students involved and work to find a solution. The school also spends time trying to teach all students how they should treat one another.

Family members said Ben had trouble communicating because of his Asperger's syndrome, so even though he'd mentioned some problems, they didn't realize how severe they were. Ben would quickly change the subject when asked about the bullying.

But soon before his death, Ben mentioned to his family several times that he was being picked on and that students in Lincoln seemed meaner than in Omaha.

Read more: http://azstarnet.com/news/national/suicide-victim-s-kin-speak-up-on-bullying/article_c24821ab-0ebe-5659-9282-ce3505b7b7c2.html#ixzz1f7MBQ39j

Source: http://azstarnet.com/news/national/suicide-victim-s-kin-speak-up-on-bullying/article_c24821ab-0ebe-5659-9282-ce3505b7b7c2.html

"Cyber-bullying on the rise"

It is always alarming to me when people think that cyber-bullying is not as "real" as the old fashioned kind. This kind of ignorance can lead to unsavory consequences on the part of the victim. It's important for all of us - parents, teachers, advocates alike - to get educated on the subject. Here is a great article out of Canada that presents startling statistics on cyber-bullying and how parents can properly handle the situation.

The 21st-century school bully need not rely on just fists and a cruel tongue. The Internet is now part of the bully's arsenal, making cyber-bullying possible anywhere -- and not just around school hours.

The Internet has also opened the door for first-time bullies, according to a University of Toronto study.

"A threat made through Facebook or texting is as serious as a threat made at school," says Brenda Simmonds, principal of Monterey Middle School in Victoria.

Any cases that surface at school or at home can be tricky to peg down. Detection is far less likely than in face-to-face bullying. The cyber-bully hides behind the Internet's cloak of anonymity. There's little risk of being interrupted or found out by an adult. Also, there's less chance of a victim physically retaliating.

"Because you have that layer, it makes the cyber-bully braver and less inhibited," Simmonds says.

Cyber-bullying is much the same as regular bullying, but without the physical presence, says the University of Victoria's Bonnie Leadbeater. It's intentionally hurting someone by teasing, intimidation, rumour or exclusion. "These are the kids who are repeatedly harassed and bullied and end up killing themselves," Leadbeater says.

Cyber-bullying is happening more and more, according to Darren Laur, a Victoria, B.C., police officer who, as a personal protection consultant, often speaks at schools. "It's the big thing now. Back in our day, it used to be the bathroom wall," Laur says, referring to the way reputations were once damaged at school.

Laur estimates his private company receives two calls a month about cyber-bullying. Last year, one came from a high school where a group of girls had created a website and blog to target one girl.

The 2008 University of Toronto study found half the young people surveyed reported being cyber-bullied. And, according to the study cited on the Be Web Aware website, 75 per cent of those admitting to cyber-bullying someone had never bullied anyone off-line and face-to-face.

Cyber-bullying was unheard of 12 years ago when Leadbeater helped create WITS, the widely used school anti-bullying program sparked in part by the 1997 homicide of schoolgirl Reena Virk.

"It just wasn't an issue," Leadbeater says, adding it became one a few years ago. She and her grad students have since augmented the program with cyber-bullying material for parents and children.

Cellphone use by children has increased by 68 per cent since 2005, according to New York's Mediamark Research and Intelligence (media-mark.com). An estimated 36.1 per cent of 10-and 11-year-olds have cellphones. Most use them for basic communication tasks, such as calling parents (88.1 per cent), calling friends (68.1 per cent), emergency purposes (55.7 per cent) and text messaging (54.1 per cent).

Technology has changed the way kids interact. Today's children are far more electronically connected -- and computer savvy than their parents, Laur says.

"We know most of the kids are involved in communicating with each other," Simmonds says. Her school bans texting and cellphone use during school hours, but she can't guarantee it doesn't happen.

Sandra Hudson, a mother of an 11-and a 14-year-old, was surprised that children send or receive an average of about 3,000 text messages a month until she checked the monthly statement for her son's iPhone texts. He was close to the mark.

"That's how they communicate," Hudson says, referring to the few words or lines he texts to friends or to her.

While the adolescent Hudson might have been overheard on the family phone, that's unlikely when her son texts on his iPhone.

"He could be sitting next to me in the car and cyber-bullying someone, and I wouldn't know," Hudson says, not believing he actually does.

Chances are you won't know if your child is a cyber-bully, according to Laur. "You won't know until someone contacts you."

It's also difficult to know if your child is being bullied, Laur says. Children don't readily admit to it.

The signs, however, are similar to any type of bullying -- fear of leaving home, crying for no apparent reason, decline in school work, change in dress, calls to parents for a pickup at school and a concern for personal safety.

The first thing a parent should do if their child is cyber-bullied is contact the bully's parents. Further, notify your child's school and even the police. Once a child reaches 12, uttering threats or harassment can be a criminal matter, Laur says.

Kids don't realize the scope of the Internet, according to Leadbeater.

"Kids don't understand it's a public document as soon as it's on the Internet. They don't think it's illegal or can be easily traced," she says.

The consensus is that parents should set family rules on Internet use. Further, they should familiarize themselves with what their child is doing and where on the Internet, Leadbeater says.

"Make it clear that you, the parent, know what cyber-bullying is."

Read more: http://www.canada.com/life/Cyber+bullying+rise/2915031/story.html#ixzz1f7Z3uErh

Source:  http://www.canada.com/life/Cyber+bullying+rise/2915031/story.html#ixzz1f7Z3uErh

"Bay Area couple at center of federal gay rights showdown"

In late August 2008, Karen Golinski and her partner of 18 years, Amy Cunninghis, gathered with family and friends in the rotunda of San Francisco City Hall and exchanged wedding vows, their young son serving as ring bearer.

But as one of the 18,000 same-sex couples who married before voters approved Proposition 8 that fall, Golinski and Cunninghis now find themselves in the midst of a legal firestorm over same-sex marriage that may be one of several to make its way to the U.S. Supreme Court. Their marriage license, it turns out, was just the beginning of the fight, not the end.

With a simple bid to add Cunninghis to her health insurance plan, Golinski has triggered one of six constitutional challenges to the federal Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, a 15-year-old law that restricts the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman and therefore forbids federal government recognition of same-sex marriages.

San Francisco U.S. District Judge Jeffrey White is set to hear Golinski's case in mid-December, pushing it near the front of the line in lawsuits around the country challenging DOMA. And, significantly, the Obama administration, which has abandoned defense of the law, will appear in court to side with Golinski.

The legal challenges to DOMA, a federal law, pose different issues than the ongoing conflict over California's Proposition 8, which tests the broader question of whether states can outlaw same-sex marriage

altogether. But with both cases barreling toward the Supreme Court, legal experts say they are likely to shape the law around gay marriage within the next few years.

Race to Supreme Court

Golinski and Cunninghis rushed to the altar to beat Proposition 8 to the punch, gaining their marriage rights just before voters restored California's ban on gay nuptials. Those marriages remain legal across the state. But during a recent interview in their San Francisco home, the couple appears almost astounded their marriage rights have spawned such a high-stakes legal battle.

"Our joke has always been that we didn't want to make a federal case out of it," Golinski said. "I don't think either one of us anticipated what this has developed into."

Golinski spurred the case by seeking to add her spouse to her health plan as a longtime staff attorney for the San Francisco-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, which is likely to be asked to rule on her lawsuit. But as a federal government employee, her request was rejected by federal agencies, which cited DOMA -- even though her boss, 9th Circuit Chief Judge Alex Kozinski, concluded she was entitled to the benefits.

Backed by gay rights groups, Golinski sued the government, arguing that DOMA discriminates against legally married same-sex couples by depriving them of the same rights, from health benefits to tax status, as heterosexual couples. Her lawsuit notes that fellow 9th Circuit married heterosexual employees can add their spouses to health plans, but she cannot, despite California's recognition of her marriage.

House Republicans have jumped into the fray, defending DOMA as constitutional in the Golinski case and others around the country, including one out of Massachusetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage, that has reached a federal appeals court. Paul Clement, a former U.S. solicitor general during the Bush administration and lead lawyer for the Republicans, did not return a message seeking comment.

But gay marriage foes argue Congress has a right to define marriage and restrict federal benefits to same-sex couples, citing the historical underpinnings of heterosexual marriage and its purpose to procreate.

"(The case) has the potential to settle this question this country wants to know: Is it constitutional for Congress to define marriage as between a man and a woman?" said Dale Schowengerdt, a lawyer with the Alliance Defense Fund, another group defending DOMA. "It's a race to the Supreme Court."

DOMA in jeopardy?

Legal experts say challenges to the federal law could in fact reach the Supreme Court before the legal battle over Proposition 8 is resolved. Steve Sanders, a University of Michigan law professor, said DOMA appears more vulnerable, while the Proposition 8 showdown is a tougher road for gay rights advocates.

"Requiring all states to license same-sex marriages, which is the goal of (the Proposition 8) plaintiffs, is more ambitious and far-reaching," he said. "For supporters of equal marriage, the wisest strategy would be to get a DOMA case up to the Supreme Court first."

Experts say the Golinski case could be the test, and all sides are preparing for that possibility. That includes Golinski and Cunninghis, who've had to explain all the buzz around their cause to their now 8-year-old son.

"It's challenging to do this in the public eye," Cunninghis said, tearing up as she looks across the kitchen table to Golinski. "We have a kid. And kids are all about what's fair. And he thinks this is really unfair."

Source: http://www.mercurynews.com/samesexmarriage/ci_19421706

"Warren High student’s story on bullies is published"

This is an inspirational story. This young lady channeled her anguish from being bullied into publishing a short story about her experiences. I can't wait to see what she is able to accomplish as she grows!

Classmates called her fat and told her she looked like a beach ball. Efforts Natalie Danyus made to befriend her fellow students were rebuffed be cause her classmates “don’t play with fat people.”

Even though Danyus is now 14 and a freshman at Warren Township High School, the emotional pain from middle school bullies lingers for her.

“I didn’t understand why they would do that,” Danyus said. “It made me doubt myself. It made me feel like I wasn’t as smart as other kids, like I wasn’t as attractive.”

Danyus channeled her feelings into a short story titled “I’m Horrible!” This was recently published in international, intercultural magazine “Skipping Stones.”

“‘I hate myself!’ Were the words that usually came out of Mika’s mouth. She did hate herself so very much,” Danyus wrote in her story.

Her story was about a chubby girl who saw herself as flawed until after she had a nightmare.

Danyus said she still has problems from her bullying experiences. Sometimes she returns to her middle school counselor to talk.

She had bullying problems at H. R. McCall Elementary School, O’Plaine School and Viking, she said. She also said she experienced cyber bullying this past summer and still runs into problems in the halls of Warren Township High School.

“(Teachers) should elaborate on it (bullying) and try to find stops to it or really be watching the kids because they don’t know that bullying affects kids like me,” Danyus said.

She did sometimes approach teachers, who advised her to ignore it. Ignoring the bullying did not make it stop, Danyus said.

Her story about bullying was her first attempt (and success) at publishing her work.

She said she wants to write and publish adventure stories that explore concepts similar to her short stories. She is writing an adventure story centering on bullying.

“I just think Natalie is a good example. A lot of kids being bullied don’t respond by being creative — they respond in a self-destructive way,” Danyus’ uncle Charles Danyus of Zion said.

Source: http://newssun.suntimes.com/news/8767498-418/warren-high-students-story-on-bullies-is-published.html